i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
