He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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