i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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