it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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