please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
