drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
