My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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