at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
