"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
