You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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