i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
