My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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