If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
