Betty ford says i'm here all night
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
