I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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