i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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