i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
