so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
