i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
