brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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