Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
