I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize