do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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