the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
there was a trapeze. enough said
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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