I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
FUCK WHALES
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