you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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