i think i have two assholes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You can't just leave with hair like that
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
