He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
