Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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