I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
