honey bunches of taint.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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