Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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