why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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