And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
