....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
