where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them