Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
