we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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