I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
