garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
