Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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