Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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