How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
