What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
