Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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