ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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