My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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