I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She bit a glass in half.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
