but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
