I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
