i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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