you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He did a backflip because drugs
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
