some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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