That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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