don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
