Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
