Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
