I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
