Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
