He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
