Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
