stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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