so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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