Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
