i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
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It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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