im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize