We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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