Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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